-----While driving home I was thinking upon the last five years since I began putting effort toward understanding God's Word. My theology must have gone through several thousand permutations during the last few years. I went from saying I was a Calvinist (but really not knowing what that meant and actually being very Arminian) to actually being one. I went from viewing this life from somewhat of a charismatic mindset (that is what happens when an immature Christian reads a book from the used book store because it is recommended by a member of the Newsboys) to being completely anti-charismatic to being a little softer in my stand. I went through various stages of legalism to having an appreciation for Christian freedom. I went from having a futurist eschatology to prescribing to partial-preterism. The list could go on and on, but my theology isn't really the point.
-----I realized that there were two things about me that managed to stay the same through all this. First, I have always been right (no matter what my position) and willing to think others were clueless for not thinking what I think. Second, I have always been awesome for being so smart (at least in my own mind). This was a disgusting realization. It would be nice to say any of this has changed, but it has not. I still cannot believe that people are dumb enough to hold views that I held two years ago. What a wretched man am I. “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance... I hate (Proverbs 8:13).”
2 comments:
hello isaac! so this is what you were doing across the hall! haha
i like this post. because you just did what the enemy would like to keep you from doing- being honest. i mean, this is real honesty. we could all benefit from being honest like this. i am often too prideful to own up to my faulty self, but when i do, then comes grace. :) thanks isaac. and good to see you again!
-kt
I feel the same too...
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